No Hablo Espanol ~ Little Rez Girl from the Bush and the BX visits Spain

We started off on bus on route to the beach in Donastio, San Sebastián, and I fell in love. We stayed at Hotel Lourdes. We stayed there for the first two days and nights, and it was everything I had hoped for. The sights were breathtaking, the food was amazing, and the air smelled sweet. I’ll never forget how calm I felt just walking by the water, I felt content.

After two nights we moved into the mountains for the next three nights, staying at Arima Hotel, where the HaBilNet Colloquium was happening. That was a powerful experience. I met people from all over the world. People who, like me, are doing the work of studying childhood bilingualism, some of them were also raising children in two worlds, holding onto language and culture. I especially loved meeting three Navajos from Albuquerque who presented on their language nest in an urban setting. Those conversations inspired me. I learned so much in just a few days, and it really helped me consider some ideas I want to use in my research proposal.

I also got to share my academic poster about what it’s been like raising our kids to be Cree speakers in an English-dominant world. I didn’t expect how many people would connect with it. So many conversations came out of it, and I was even invited to be on a podcast, which I’m really looking forward to.

As an Indigenous, tattooed woman, I noticed people staring at me, especially walking through San Sebastián but for the most part, people just minded their business, but I was aware of how visible I was. My beautiful honey brown skin stood out in a sea of European skin. I suppose they don't see Indigenous people every day so, it didn't bother me too much. I was also fortunate to meet friendly people, even some who would joke with us. I enjoyed those times because that made me feel relaxed and appreciated.

On the last night, we made our way to Bilbao and visited the Guggenheim Museum. I was impressed because the art was stunning. I was drawn to one piece in particular (see one of the pictures with my back to the camera, and no, not the big dog lol) when I stood in front of it, I felt transported, like I had left the world for a moment. It made me feel light and joyful. That feeling is hard to put into words, but it reminded me how art can lift the spirit. Everything in that space was fun, beautiful, powerful, or interesting in its own way. I felt blessed to witness it all. It made me miss my creative energy and it reminded me of my children as artists, they're so talented and I mean that. My daughter Sky is a welder and makes art with her craft, my son Ty loves to draw and my other daughter Alyse loves creating with textiles. I am happy that I raised them to love art in all its forms.

One thing I didn’t expect was how much jet lag would affect me. For three nights (every second night like tonight) I couldn’t sleep. I stayed up the entire night, wide awake and struggling. The more I tried to fall asleep, the more anxious I felt. I never really understood what jet lag meant until this trip, now I know. Apparently, when you’re far from home, far from the land and routines your body knows, it can feel really disorienting. I’m hoping that once I’m back in my own bed, with my family around me, I’ll finally be able to rest properly.

At one point, I asked myself: Why did I come so far to participate in this conference? I could think of two reasons. The first came to me just before I left. I had attended a funeral, and an Elder spoke about our language. About how important it is, and how we must never lose it. His words landed on my heart. It felt like an answer that I needed. I realized I came to find direction, to strengthen my work and my responsibility to our language and our children. The second reason was more personal. I wanted to experience a new world. And I did. Traveling across the ocean, being in a place where I stood out in every way, it wasn’t always comfortable. But I kept showing up... I listened, I shared and I learned. I felt connected to people doing similar work and made new friends. I can proudly say that I went and did my best, and i am proud of myself for that.

I realized, as I stood there presenting my poster and speaking with people from all over the world, that I was carrying our Cree language into a space where not many Indigenous people participate. It wasn’t just about sharing information, it was about presence. Speaking about our children, our language, and our everyday life as Cree people in that kind of academic setting reminded me that sometimes the act of showing up is a form of resistance. One comment that stayed with me came from someone who said she was glad I was there, because there was a lot she didn’t know. That honesty meant a lot to me and I felt glad that I was there. It reminded me that showing up matters, even when I felt uncomfortable. Our presence opens doors and our stories create understanding. I didn’t feel completely alone, I had my friend and my Navajo colleagues. I also felt the strength of those who came before me. Being there with our language, our stories, and our way of seeing the world was both a responsibility and a gift.

ninanāskomon

I want to thank nikwîmîs Andrea Sterzuk for sharing this experience with me but especially for supporting my attendance, for encouraging me every step of the way, and for believing in my work. Travelling across the world to speak about my language, my children, and our story is not something I take lightly and having that kind of support made all the difference in the world. I also acknowledge the SSHRC travel grant that supported my journey to Spain and made this experience possible. I also want to express my gratitude to Dr. Annick De Houwer and Dr. Lourdes Ortega, whose generous support covered my meals and hotel stay during the colloquium. Their kindness and belief in the value of this work made it possible for me to be fully present. Lastly, I want to let my babies know that I missed them very much and that they are my hope and inspiration.